As a divorcing parent, you probably won’t see as much of your child as you used to. That will be hard for them and you, but as they also need to see their other parent, it is par for the course.
When your time with your child is limited, you might want to do all you can to make that time amazing. Yet this is where some parents get it wrong. They misinterpret what being a great parent means.
It does not revolve around going large
If your children are little, you might decide to take them to Disneyland. You might have a fantastic time together, but that won’t make them remember you as a great parent.
It’s similar for older kids. Maybe you reach out to your contacts to get a VIP seat at the game or an autograph from their favorite star. Your child will not forget such things, but they’re not going to use it to rate your parenting. At least not in the long term.
You might win temporary parenting points when your child shows their mates the t-shirt Billie Eilish signed. You might even get the satisfaction of hearing them say that you are so much better than their other parent. Yet parenting is a long-term game, and it’s the constancy of the little things that counts.
Were you there when they needed to talk or needed a hand with something? Did you turn up on time and keep your promises? Did you teach them skills that will serve them for life? Did you talk well about their other parent in front of them?
Getting help to negotiate a fair custody arrangement means you can concentrate on doing all those little things that great parents do without feeling the need to resort to grand gestures because you hardly see them.